Have you had the sex talk with your kids?

Have you had the sex talk with your kids? Do you plan on it?  Do you plan to let them learn about the birds and the bees from their friends? Having “The Talk” is critical and essentially one of the most important talks you will need to have with your child/tween.

What age would you consider a good age to have “The Talk”?

My mother had the talk with me when I was in the 3rd grade and I will never forget it. It was so traumatizing that I remember it like it was yesterday. My mother always wanted to have all the serious talks with me while we are riding in the car. Smart if you think about it because I have no choice but to listen.

It was a morning on our way to school/work and she asked me the question “So do you know what sex is?”. Of courses, I said no but I actually knew of it. How did I know I am not 100% sure but I did know the basics. I of course told my mother no because I was afraid I would get in trouble let’s face it I was 8 years old and I felt I should not talk about or know about sex.

“The Talk”

My mother starts out stressing that when a man and a woman love each other they get married. Once they are married they have sex. Sex is when a man puts his penis in her vagina and then he will ejaculate and all this wet stuff comes running down your legs and its messy. So, can you imagine my little 8-year-old face at that moment? I was sick to my stomach and did not want to talk about this topic anymore. I was ruined and my mother didn’t even know what she had just did. It was actually genius because at that very moment in that car on that morning I promised myself that I was not having sex! Clearly that feeling didn’t last forever but it haunted me for many years.

My mother used a no filter approach and it worked. My oldest is a boy and he is 12 and I have tried to have the conversation with him several times. He shuts me out and tries to get away from me fast. I don’t mind talking about sex. Honestly, I can talk about sex with anyone. I hate that there is a stigma on it like it is dirty or nasty and it’s not. I told my husband that I have tried to have the talk but he shuts me out and I suggested that he take the lead on this topic. Plus, I don’t know anything about wet dreams.

Our Duty as Parents

We as parents have a duty to have these open discussions with our children. If we don’t talk to them they will use the internet (come on porn is not realistic) or they will get the information from their friends (who probably got it from porn or an older sibling). We have the duty to educate them on safe sex and being responsible. Of course, I don’t want my teens having sex but the chances are high that they will.

When you have the talk with your child it is important to be confident and not timid. You want to have control of the conversation.  Make them feel like they are just having an open and honest discussion about sex. Don’t get me wrong it is a nerve racking topic to discuss with your baby (they can be married with kids they will always be my baby) but STD rates are high. I don’t want my kids to be teen parents nor do I want them to get any STD’s. I am that parent that will provide birth control to both my sons and my daughter as I mentioned in my previous post.

Sex is not a taboo topic and we all need to get with it. These kids are having sex younger and younger. They are doing more sexual acts then we were in my hay day. I as a parent just want my kids to know the facts. I would rather for them to get the facts from their parents and not the internet or their friends. Talk about it and make your kids feel like they can bring anything to you.

 

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