Sex! How often should couples that live together have it?


Sex! How often should couples that live together have it?  Now if you ask this question to a woman vs a man you may get completely different answers. Men naturally have a higher sex drive on average. Men have stronger urges and cravings.  Now don’t get me wrong there are women that too have high sex drives so let’s not stereotype this. Don’t get all upset with me I am just stating the stats.

Now let’s break it down. How often are you and your partner square dancing in the bed? This is a question that I am sure has some variable answers. If you have no kids and/or in a new relationship you probably have sex every day, probably a couple times a day. Oh, these were the days! If you are married with kids you are at the point of, get it where and when you can. Hot shots left and right.

Reached out to a few of my friends that are in/have been in a live-in relationship and asked them on average how often are they having sex.

1: Married with kids- 3-4 times a week

2: Live together without kid: Every other day

3: Married with kids- 2-3 times a week

4: Married with kids- 4-5 times a week

5: Live together with kids -3 times a week

6: Live together with kids – 4 times a week

When I got these numbers, I was like ok this does not seem unreasonable at all. Of course, the friend that said every other day clearly does not have kids because that totally changes the dynamics of your bedroom. Depending on the age of your kids you could totally have a daily sex life so it’s not too far out there. According to an article by “TODAY” it states that according to the research they did the magic number is once per week. Can you live off of that?


I personally have kids and they are still in my bed as I mentioned in my previous post here.  Since this is the way our life is right now we have to get creative, which is fun too. Our main goal is to make sure as husband and wife whatever our sexual need is that it is being taken care of at home. Would I like to be that couple that is getting it in every other day ABSLOUTLY! But let’s face it this is how it goes some nights.

You and your honey make big plans to square dance in the bed tonight. You make sure you get the kids nice and tired so you take them to the park. The entire time you are thinking about how it’s going down tonight. You get them home bathe them and rub them down really good with that baby lotion, because you want them to be so relaxed and ready for bed. Get them in their PJ’s read them the two bed time stories (even though you said one). Next, lights out and NOPE the kids want to fight. He’s touching me or she won’t move over so then you threaten them and this goes on for about an hour finally they fall asleep after about an hour and a half but you and your husband are now both sleep too.

When you wake up the next morning you and your husband discuss the events of the night before and promise each other you will do things differently tonight. If you are a parent you know the struggle and can relate I know.

The main thing is that you and your partner get that time in somehow.  Be creative and don’t lose that passion between you because of the dynamics in your life. Kids are not the only factor in these equations either. Sometimes when we work a lot we without notice begin to neglect what’s also important, our spouse. One aspect that I have seen was if one partner is not happy in the relationship the desire to have sex is gone. If you feel like this is a possibility I urge you to talk to your partner. I would even recommend counseling too.

Sex and intimacy is essential for a healthy relationship. It is what connects two people physically and emotionally. Granted they are not the most important but in my opinion they are definitely in the top 3.  Sex has other important factors too. It can be a stress reliever. If your partner seems stressed out about work or life itself then sex is a great way to release some of that stress. Sex releases good chemicals in the brain which can reduce your stress levels.  Sex also helps keep hormonal balance too. Keeping your hormonal balance can help calm depression and anxiety. Sex can help boost your metabolism and immune system and these boosts give you overall good health. Sex as we know will keep you young as it fights off the aging process too.

 Image by © Picturenet/Blend Images/Corbis

Just remember when we are in relationships we get comfortable but don’t that the things we did in the beginning are the same things we should continue throughout. Keep dating each other its important for a long healthy relationship.

What are some ways you keep the fire burning in your relationship?

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