Open Marriage…are you down?


Open marriage, would you do it to save your marriage? I know a few married couples that have struggled with losing interest in their marriage. If you and your spouse are struggling with connecting could an open marriage help reconnect the two of you?

I have friends with children that didn’t want to end their marriage because of the kids. During a casual conversation I asked would you be open to having an open marriage? One friend said they would consider it but that their spouse would never go for it. The friend was willing to do it for the sake of the marriage and the kids. Could this work? Would this help sustain the marriage?

Actress Mo’Nique has spoken about her open marriage and a lot of people had things to say. People were saying things like how could she allow this man to treat her this way. Most people automatically assumed that her husband was the one that wanted the open marriage.  In actuality it was Mo’Nique’s idea and her husband agreed. The concept behind the open marriage is that there may be times that she would want to sleep with other men. She wanted that open line of communication with her husband.  If she felt the need to be with other men she could be open and honest. Mo’Nique could tell her husband and he would understand and oblige.

While listening to an interview that Mo’Nique had on the show The Preachers I began to understand a little more of what exactly their “Open Marriage” was about.

Now I know you may be reading this and thinking I could never do what Mo’Nique is doing! I would never want my spouse to have any type of sexual relationship outside of the marriage. I agree but then I can understand what Mo’Nique is saying too. When you are married the open line of communication has to be there. Do I want my husband to have a side piece? Absolutely not! I can respect him if he came home one day and I told me was not happy and wanted to explore other options. At that very moment, I would feel obligated to try to find a resolution to his unhappiness.

Don’t get it twisted! I am not giving my husband a Hall Pass (I am not that cool) but I would make every needed recommendation to try to fix us first. If that meant going to a counselor or us exploring some new sexual adventure then that is what we would have to do.


I don’t knock Mo’Nique for her approach on her marriage but it just is not for me. Her way of doing things vs my way does not make one better than the other. When you are married, there are going to be many different challenges that will come up. There may even be some things that you may say today you will not allow in the marriage but after 20 years of marriage some of your opinion may change.

The main thing is to be open with your spouse. If there is something that is on your heart you need to sit your spouse down and have that OPEN line of communication ready and available. Make sure your partner knows that there is no topic that is off limits. I want my husband to come to me and talk to me about anything.

My husband and I are truly best friends. There are no secrets between us and there is no conversation off limits. I can honestly say that if my husband felt the need for a hall pass he would come to me. This would have to be something we discuss as husband and wife and go from there…

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