Would you give your child birth control? I plan on it and let me tell you why. Now do I want my kids to have sex? Absolutely not! I don’t even want them to move out and get married but let’s face it, it’s going to happen rather we like it or not. Let me explain my reasoning behind my thoughts. We all were teens once and I can remember my girlfriends chatting between classes in high school about who’s having sex and with whom. Now I am going to fast forward to today and these kids are having the same conversations in Jr. High/Middle School. This generation is something different. The scary part is that they are more inclined to have oral sex because that’s is not considered “SEX”! Huh? When I was their age that was NASTY who did that? Only the really fast girls did.
I am an early 80’s baby and when I was in high school it was the mid 90’s. So much has change in our society it is terrifying. But the reality is we live in this CRAZY world so prepare yourself. My husband and I had a conversation prior to being married about how we wanted to parent. When I was coming up I had a very “open” relationship with my mother which meant if there was something I wanted to talk about there were no limits. My husband had that same relationship with his mother. We both were raised in a two-parent home so marriage is important. Of course, we would rather our children not have premarital sex and wait as long as possible but the reality is that there is a strong possibility that it will happen sooner rather than later.
As a parent I am a realist and I know when I was about 14 years old that was the age that some of my friends began to have sex. I was also a kid with a mind of my own. I did not buy into peer pressure much but there were times I would entertain the thought of things my friends were doing. Since I clearly remember the roller coaster of being a teen I knew that I wanted to parent in a way that makes my children feel like they can openly communicate with me.
I have two sons and a daughter and as we know when it comes to the sex department we look at things a little different based on gender. I decided I would do one thing the same and that is offer birth control and advocate safe sex. You may be saying wow she is promoting sex to her children and that is your opinion. What I am actually doing is setting my children up for what is probably going to be the inevitable which is they are going to have SEX.
I want my kids to be educated in the sex department. I want them to know not only do I not want to be a young grandmother that I also want you to be safe if you do decide that you want to have sex. There are so many STD’s out there and I want them to know the responsibility that comes along with making such a big decision to have sex.
When I was a teen because my mother was a nurse she would bring home pamphlets of different STD’s that were out there. She would bring them home and lay them on my bed. When I came home I would see these scary pamphlets on my bed. The funny thing is I actually would sit down and read them. I think this was a scare tactic but to be honest it worked! I would read over the information and look at the pictures and be mortified. The funny part is that at that time I was not sexually active. Truth be told because of these pamphlets my mother left me it prolonged my virginity!
I plan to use these same strategies with my kids. My mother offered condoms for my brother. She would have them in a drawer and would just restock them as they got low. This was great because a lot of kids are embarrassed to go to the store and purchase condoms. My nephew a few years ago was scared and came to my husband to purchase them for him. I am just glad he asked him instead of not using them at all.
My mother asked me did I want to get on birth control when I was about 14 years old. I told her no because I was not sexually active. Mom said ok but when you are let me know and I will make you an appointment no questions asked. At about 16 years old I asked my mother to make that appointment and she did. I was on a birth control shot and my mother made sure I made all of those appointments, she even made the appointments for me…LOL!
I want my children to be responsible young adults. Realizing that I cannot make every decision for them. I do want to help them in any way I can. My hope is that because I have such an open-door policy that my children, they will feel comfortable enough to come to me instead of asking their friends. If they ask their friends they may give them misleading information. I never had that older sister but I truly thank my mother for allowing me to have that type of a relationship with her.
In high school I had several friends that were pregnant our senior year. There parents were very strict and did not have these talks about sex with them. Knowing this was another reason I knew that my parenting style would more like my parents. I did not have my first child until I was in my mid 20’s but I know this was due to my sex education from my mother!
Have you decided if you plan to provide birth control to your children? What will be your parenting style?
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