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How many sexual partners have you had? Is this ok to ask?

How many sexual partners have you had? Have you ever had anyone ask you this question? I have not.  This is one of those question I will not answer. Not because I don’t want to but because I don’t remember. Yes, that’s right I don’t know.  Don’t slut shame me because I am okay with my sexuality. Don’t get it twisted if I really cared enough I could write out a list but really who cares. Especially at this point in my adult life.

When I first started dating my husband and things began to get really serious, I often wondered at what point is he going to ask me the question about my past sexual partners. Surprisingly enough the question was never asked. I never made any indication that I was this girl that only had 3 sexual partners but for him it was not important.

My husband and I have an amazing sex life. We have that sexual chemistry that I have to give credit to our veteran experience. We both have had our share of sexual encounters it allowed for us to know what we like and don’t like. Having the experience with different partners allows you the opportunity to understand your sexual interest since everyone has their own sense of style. You learn something with every new encounter because people bring something different to the mix.

If I said how many sexual partners I have had some may have something to say like oh she’s a slut but if a man said the same number he is the man! Why do men get a different standard then women when it comes to sexual partners?  Can a woman want to feed her sexual appetite just as a man does? Is there a problem with a woman not wanting commitment but was comfortable with casual sex? Of course, in our society women are not allowed to be sexually comfortable like men are. Women are supposed to seem pure and clean.  Having multiple sexual partners makes her dirty in the eyes of society.

I am a woman that is ok with saying I love sex. I’ve had my share of sexual partners and I am not ashamed to say. As a wife I am thankful for my experiences and my encounters I have had along the way. Once I met my husband I felt good knowing that I had such a plentiful sex life in my 20’s that getting married in my 30’s felt good and confident about our sex life. I honestly feel like it helped it.

I know there are many women out there that feel the same way I do. Do not feel ashamed or embarrassed to be proud of your number whatever that number is. Even if your number is only 3 be proud of that number.  Do not allow anyone to make you question your sexual decisions. Have a much sex as often and with as many people as you please.

 

If you like this post check out these sex bloggers below: 

Sex Shaming is a Recipe for Disaster-Alex Howlett

Beyond Race Play: BDSM & Racism– Kristin Hambridge

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Posts published: 16
  • Alex

    Great post, Teena! I definitely can relate.

  • Victoria R

    I hear the body count argument all the time. I am aware of the blatant double standard between men and women. Surprisingly enough, I have never been asked the body count question, but I wouldn’t answer either. I think it’s completely childish.

  • N. Retah

    I have only been asked the question once and wondered if I should have exaggerated the answer so I wouldn’t be judged as nieve and inexperienced.

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