The Real Housewives of Atlanta – At what length would you go to hurt a former bestie?

I just watched the finale of the Housewives of Atlanta four part reunion and got to see the what took place that kind of rocked everyone’s world. The funny part is this is the first season of HOA that I haven’t watched at all and I wasn’t even interested in watching the other three parts of the reunion. Well, I take that back. I was interested in seeing the reunion based on the previews that were broadcast last month but some of my fav Youtubers had indicated in their reviews that they were bored with what they had viewed in the first three parts so I just tuned into the end to see the big shabang.

Real Housewives of Atlanta Season 9 Reunion

Real Housewives of Atlanta Season 9 Reunion

I had heard about the allegations between Porsha and Kandi early in the season in which her and her husband were accused of wanting to drug and rape Porsha . I thought the allegations were a little off when I heard them towards the beginning of the season but figured hey, they are celebrities and so you just never know what could be true or not. But I think what really convinced me that something was a little unbelievable about the allegations was the way Kandi reacted. She seemed enraged about it being how she doesn’t even drink or do drugs and then she explained the reason she doesn’t engage with them is because of what she has seen and lived through seeing other artists that have done drugs. Something about her saying that struck a chord with me early on as I figured she has probably seen a lot since her days of singing in the girl group Xscape and as a result she had been deterred to stay away from drugs. I also figured Kandi tells us when she is sitting in a room across from her husband with a vibrator in her so if she did want to sleep with Porsha I’m sure she would have admitted that too. Unless, she plays her part very well of playing the “honest” housewife.

Also, it had seemed plain to see that Porsha was being played like a fiddle by her self proclaimed bestie Phaedra all season long and for that reason I was not necessarily shocked that it came out during the reunion that the allegation about Kandi wanting to drug and rape Porsha came from Phaedra I can’t say that I was that surprised. I was more surprised that she would resort to making an allegation that serious in what appears to me to cut Kandi back now that they are no longer friends. It made me think what is acceptable in terms of hurting your former best friend as it seemed Phaedra did not feel she was in the wrong.

Ok, let’s be honest here. It sucks when you are no longer friends with someone. You have to figure out how to operate in your daily life again if ya’ll were so close where you would call each other daily. You have to think and adjust to the fact that there will be no more birthdays or holidays with each other. And let me tell you what really sucks, when your better halves were friends and when you were close to each others kids and families. One thing about me is loyalty is everything. When I connect with someone it is coming from a genuine place on my end and I don’t take that friendship for granted and I also don’t throw around the words “friend” and “family” loosely. So if you have met my husband and I am close to your child it’s because you are close to me and you become my family. I guess you can say I am guarded and protective of the people that matter most to me which is why I always keep my circle tight. But as I think about friendships that have gone awry or we just lost touch with one another I can’t say that I could ever stoop that low and make up lies about someone else and you know why I can’t? Because karma scares the heck out of me.

One thing I have always tried to live by was the golden rule of treating others how I want to be treated and I also know there is a cause and effect for everything you do. The biggest reason I just couldn’t make up something about someone even if they hurt me to the core is because that mess will come back to me tenfold. Number one, I don’t get what lying will do as you learn early on when you attempted to lie that it is hard to do so as you gotta keep up with the lie you told whether it was a fib or a big ass lie. I’m just hope that God will take care of them. Trust and believe.

Maybe another reason why I couldn’t go and lie about a former friend, the whole art of breaking up is your suppose to act like you don’t care, duh! I think if you go about creating and perpetuating a lie might show that you care too much about them. Whether they are doing well and you create the lie on them in my mind that shows you are jealous of their success and then it shows you are vindictive in wanting to see someone crash and burn. And maybe that’s when people feel it is best to do this sort of behavior is when the other person looks too happy for their liking and you want to bring about pain. But inflicting pain is going to do what for you exactly except make you look crazy in these streets. Then I’m thinking when you finally move on and you finally become happy what do you think will be waiting for you. A big ol’ thick serving of karma! Lol. Or now it’s going to take you even longer for happiness to come your way because of your previous actions of lying on someone has to be paid back.

Now I have been lied on and as I have gotten older I have also gotten to a place of I really don’t have time for the BS most days in my life so I will confront you on it. I feel a lot of arguments and misunderstandings result from miscommunication or flat out the lack thereof therefore, I am a stickler about open communication. So yeah I will call, run up, set a lunch, ask you to meet me,  whatever I have to do to clear the air and if I find out that you crossed me…I will first confront you in the most lady like way I can. I am not going to start off yelling or anything as that is useless really, I am going to let you speak and ask my questions to try to get to the bottom of the situation at hand. Which is one thing I can say I respected Kandi about was that she would go to Phaedra each time she had an issue with something that was being directed her way. I find it says a lot about a person if they squirm their way out of the confrontation or try to turn it around on you and put all the blame on you. If I am wrong about something I have no issues apologizing and taking accountability. I feel at our age and if we connected in someway in which we became friends you should understand that that’s the school that I graduated from and you should be willing to do the same when you are wrong.

Overall, it just doesn’t seem right to do as I tell you this, you will never be able to make someone feel the amount of hurt you are feeling. Sometimes you will have relationships that just run their course and I have learned the hardway that was the whole intention of you meeting that person in the first place. Granted, I actually haven’t broken up with many friends. The most frequent situation i have encountered is just growing apart from friends because of distance or just because you both have changed. So even if a friend and I are no longer speaking it’s usually because of this reason and I have no ill-will about it. It just is what it is and was…I can literally count on one hand friendships that have broken up painfully to where I realized they would go out of their way to cut me to the bone. And even with the cuts I just don’t have it in me to cut them deeper as I know God will take care of them when he sees fit. Now I will be honest, sometimes I do have an issue with how long it seems that they get the big payback from the big G upstairs and I struggle with that internally. But I have learned that it’s not up to me as to when God will take care of them. I just need to know and accept He will do so well!

Here’s the video clip that shows when Kandi exploded.

Other observations…

Where was the true compassion and tears in this episode? There is a clip floating around of Porsha right now where they caught her crying uncontrollably and she is wiping her face but there were no tears. Reference mark 0:29-0:33 of the video clip.  And then Phaedra…um, does anyone think she may be a little she may be suffering with something…um, medically. I found it odd that she had no emotion really when she was caught red handed lying. Like she was stone faced about it. Talk about fix it Jesus. I’m going to need her to learn how to emote and show empathy. Reference the entire clip.

Was Sharee laughing and then covered it up with an ugly cry? Ok, when she busted out crying I was a little confused as it seemed displaced as it was very sudden. So the clip is being replayed today and I swear it looked like homegirl busted up laughing…from the gut when it looked like Kandi was going to put the paws on frick and frack. Once she realized the laugh came out it comes off that that’s when she switched it up real quick by crying without any tears. Reference 1:10-1:15 & 1:25.

I needed Kenya to stop with all her extra commentary. I think she was so use to always causing drama at each of the past reunions she must have felt useless and decided all of sudden she was going to provide narration and unwanted commentary when it just didn’t seem like it was her place to do so.
Have you ever tried to get back at a friend after the friendship dissolved?  If so, do you have any regrets doing so? Have you been on the receiving end of being hurt by a former friend? How did you carry on and/or how did you retaliate?


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